Debora Balardini

Describe the play, how you identify with the piece, and your favorite moment.
​Backlash to Brazilian Happiness addresses my experience with sexual abuse as a child. ​ Drawing subtle inspiration from the mythological character Medea, I portray my inner struggles faced as a survivor. There is a great deal of physicality, voice work, and text. To me it was always and still is an ode to the resilience of women, echoing the power of the Medea myth. It is a constant shape, deconstruct, and rebuild of women's identity.

Aside from being semi-autobiographical, I also find myself deeply identified with the base text - Nocturnal Daydreams - by Guilherme Zelig. His words just fit perfectly with my own. The images he creates with the goat and the dragon in his piece, give the psychological depth I was looking for when telling my story.

My favorite moment is after I explicitly describe the images of the abuse and say my last lines "I am not here to entertain you. I am here to mirror the diagonals of your life's rectangle certitudes", there is a silence in the audience that is very cathartic for me. It is that one moment when we are all on the same page. That we all understood each other and that we, me, and the audience are very vulnerable. And we know we need to take care of each other as human beings. All the masks are dropped and we are seen as we are.

Where do you go to find inspiration?
​I really think that inspiration is in everyday life. For an actor, being present in life itself is essential to a good performance on stage. Nonetheless, once I get what life gives me I go inside myself as cliches as it sounds to find ways to recycle and compile and compact, and expand what I have from the outside. There is no other way.

In addition to this piece, what else are you working on?
​At the moment this piece takes most of my time since beginning of January. Of course, as an artist we are always thinking about new things and new projects but I chose to work on one artistic project at a time. I am also a mom, a wife, and I need some time for myself. It becomes a challenge when you start working on different projects. I do have a few other artistic small projects here and there those don't occupy more than a few hours of my week and they are gone very quickly. The next big project is slated for 2025 with my theatre company. Next year I will be shooting a short movie and possibly doing a play with another company but it is not set in stone yet.

At what age did you start your craft? What inspired you to do so? How do you continue to exercise and grow it?
​I knew I wanted to be on stage since I was 6. I only started at the age 12 as a dancer and then as an actress at around 14 years old. I was inspired by the idea of being able to be myself and be able to express what I felt. As time went on I felt it was much deeper than that because the audience became even more important than me just acting. And that is when I realized I needed to keep going. I continued to exercise my craft and grow it by observing life closely and "digesting" it to use on stage. But I only understood a bit more of what I was doing when I started working with Pantheatre Company in Paris. That gave me a full sense of what being an artist is.

Have you always been a fan of theater? ​ What was the first show you saw or your favorite show?
​I come from Brazil where, in the 80s, I did not have so much access to theatre in our town. There were plays, of course, and a big theatre, but it was not a big deal for my family. I was the one who broke the cycle and would take my parents to the theatre when I got older. My first live performance was a circus show. I was a 5 year old child and it blew my mind. I did not want to come back home. I have many favorite shows and all in different genres. Hard to say but I will pick Noises Off since it is so dynamic in its comedic timing. I absolutely love it. There are many many more but...

Who is the audience for Backlash to Brazilian Happiness?
​The audience for the show is basically women identified. I think they will get what I am saying. Not that the male identified won't. It is just that, ​ there are so many facets to the female energy. In general, a literal mind will get lost and try to find answers too quickly. One needs to let the mind relax and let the unconscious and subconscious do the work for a moment. If that happens, I would like the audience to commune with the piece in a humane level. I would like for them to be touched, not for pity, but because we share life on the same level and we all can feel the same thing, we all have compassion, and we all can relate.

What is most challenging about creating Backlash to Brazilian Happiness? ​
​The challenge of this show is the amount of energy I need to gather as I go along with the physicality, music, and text. Because the physicality intensifies towards the end, I have to be in a constant compromise with my body and my voice. I love pushing myself by having a new challenge every day. About 2 hours before the performance I ask myself "what is today? What buttons should I push today? What is bubbling inside of me today?"

What is your favorite moment in the play?
​My favorite line: "I am not here to entertain you. I am here to mirror the diagonals of your life's rectangle certitudes."

Who are your collaborators? What do you like about working with them?
​Andressa Furletti is my main collaborator, also a friend and business partner in our company, Group Dot BR (NY's only Brazilian theatre company). Andressa's generosity and maturity in the face of a project simply bring every idea to another level. Also, my mentor and director of the piece, Enrique Pardo. He has known me for 16 years and knows what buttons to push when I am on the stage. Last but not least, Jonathan Hart has been giving me amazing support as a vocal coach. His sensibility is just out of this world. These three amazing people have been there for me in good and challenging moments.

What are you most proud of?
​I would say that I am proud of myself for deciding to make this piece happen. It took me a long time to open my mouth and tell the world what happened to me and I think it could've happened earlier but here it is now. I finally understood that by opening my mouth and being vulnerable I give the chance and opportunity for other women or other people to tell their stories as well.

Find Debora at deborabalardini.com and on social media @deborabalardini